Mommies with Style Articles

The countdown has begun. In less than a month Noah starts kindergarten.

I imagine I have the normal feelings that a mom has when her first baby starts school. It’s a big scary world out there and suddenly they are going to be part of it. Are they ready? Have we given them the skills they need?

It’s funny actually. I was at the pediatrician with the baby the other day and a mom was sitting in the waiting room with her first “baby,” except he was 18 now and getting ready for college. I asked her what was harder, watching him go off to college now, or those first days of kindergarten way back when. I’m not sure she ever really gave me an answer, but it was interesting comparing notes with her.

Not only do I have the typical worries though, I have the added worries of a mom with a child with special needs. Because Noah won’t be in a “normal” (boy do I hate that word sometimes) classroom, but in an emotional support classroom. And, everyone in his “posse*” will be new as we have to change wrap around agencies**. So not only will his support staff be new, but mine will as well.

We were actually pleasantly surprised when we first met with the elementary school staff for his Individualized Education Plan (IEP) last spring to find that they had an emotional support class in his home school and that it seemed like a good fit for Noah. An added bonus is that it is an all-day program (versus the half day program for the regular kindergarten program), which is what Noah is used to from daycare and pre-k.

It was a tough decision where to place him. We had a few choices actually, one of which was to keep him at the daycare he has been at for almost five years and attend their all-day kindergarten program. It would have been costly for us, but we thought keeping him in a familiar environment, and keeping his “posse” consistent would be easier for all of us. Easier maybe, but what we eventually recognized was it wouldn’t be the best thing for Noah.

Another option was to let him start in a regular kindergarten classroom with or without TSS support and see what happens. The school said they would support us if that was the decision we made. We didn’t think that would be the best for Noah either.

It made it a bit easier to make the decision to place him in the emotional support classroom when we met his teacher, Mrs. D. We were very impressed with her, and even more so when we spent time in her classroom. So far everyone we have talked to just raves about her.

We have done every thing we can to make sure he is ready. His IEP is in place, we have met extensively with the school principal, the school counselor, the occupational therapist, and his classroom teacher. We visited the classroom with Noah for a couple hours when school was still in session and all of us liked what we experienced

So, here we are, less than a month away from my first baby going off to school. It’s not what I had initially envisioned for him, but it is still kindergarten. My baby…a kindergartener. *sigh*

* what we call his team of support staff, such as his OT, behavioral therapist, TSS, etc.
** this is the agency that provides him with a behavior therapist and his TSS (one on one support)

Kristine not only writes here on Mommies with Style, but has her own blog, Mommy Needs Therapy , where she chronicles life, family, infertility, adoption and the attempt to keep her sanity.

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When Whitney asked if I’d be interested in writing for Mommies with Style I was flattered, and more than a little shocked. Actually, my first thought was that maybe I shouldn’t have poured her that second glass of wine, because clearly, she wasn’t thinking straight. She wanted little (ha ha, I wish) ol’ me to write for a website called Mommies with STYLE? Wow! Ummm…yes!

And she wanted me to write with a focus on kids with special needs. Well, that certainly made more sense to me than her asking me to write about style. Special needs I know. Style? Not so much.

So, what does qualify me to write about special needs? Oh, just one little 44 pound five-year old boy with a laundry list of diagnoses attached to him. That five-year old is my son Noah. And that list of diagnoses includes Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and Attachment Disorder. There have been a few other abbreviations thrown in and out of his medical records over the last few years as well.

Noah spent the first six months of his life in a Russian orphanage, which we can consider causative of the SPD and attachment disorder. The ADHD and AS, well, we/he just got lucky I guess.

Parenting Noah has been the greatest challenge I have ever encountered. I am now “that parent.” The one in my care free single days that I would see in Target, with their out of control child, and all smugly think “my children will NEVER act like that!” Talk about karma…

On the flip side though, the boy makes me laugh! He’s one of the funniest kids I know. And he’s smart, too smart for MY own good sometimes. He’s also a great big brother to Kiel, our eight-month old “science” baby.

People often tell us what a wonderful thing we have done, adopting Noah. That we are doing a great job parenting him and that he is very lucky. And of course, the old “you only get what you can handle” bit. Well, I have a confession to make. I’m hanging on here by the skin of my teeth. The challenges far outweigh the rewards most days. But don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my son. I would fight to the death for him. Mess with him and you have a mighty fierce mama bear to deal with.

So, here I am, writing for Mommies with Style about kids with special needs. This is a new direction for Mommies with Style, so I’m hoping you, the reader, will help guide me as to what you’d like to read here. I’d love to share some of our challenges and accomplishments, as well as some of the more practical information I’ve gained along our journey. I’ve been fortunate over the last several years to meet and work with some very talented people in the special needs community. So, if you have a question and I don’t have an answer for you, there is a pretty good chance I know someone who does.

Kristine not only writes here on Mommies with Style, but has her own blog, Mommy Needs Therapy , where she chronicles life, family, infertility, adoption and the attempt to keep her sanity.

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